Uncle Ta

 It was pouring down in torrents when I woke up at 4.45 this morning and peeped into the small adjoining bedroom to see my eldest son, Idzfan, doing his last bits of packing for his journey back to Sydney after a 3-week holiday. There is never enough time to complete the ‘to do’ list on holidays like this, he said, and even some important discussions had to be put on hold. But I’m completely contented with our early morning tete-a-tete in the kitchen (before Alman came down) over honey lemon tea , teh susu or mocha and toast. And so thankful he was going back in good health after a week’s spell of cough and cold during his second week home.

The deafening downpour lent an air of solemnity to the occasion as we moved about quietly  getting ready. His cousin Shahril was downstairs by 6.15 am as promised to drive him to the airport. The two are such compatible buddies. It was drizzling by the time we bade farewell at the gate.

Whenever the boys are home, they occupy my so-called day room and I would remove my personal things from there. This morning after I had put them back in, the room still looked empty, even emptier than before. The space and ambience resonate with the void in my life that has been inevitable since the boys left home. Thank God my daughter chose not to further her study overseas and has made good of her career here too.  I left the room quickly, after deciding to let some items lie where Idzfan left them…the kain pelekat and sejadah neatly folded on my bookshelf and his coins on the computer table. And I will leave the neatly done bed as it is too. At least his aura will still be there and I’m reminded that my sons are just 8- 9 hours away and do come home now and then.

The sun came up by mid-day, but it was still raining in my heart. But being able to visualize his life over there is such a great comfort. We had walked along his route to work, his jogging track, visited his favourite grocery store, coffee spots and eating places in the neighbourhood, just as Izaz had done with me in Melbourne. Growing up at home, they had always been pampered and waited on by ‘kakak’ and mama dearest, but they have quickly learnt to clean and keep house rather well on their own, and even cook decent meals. In fact, Izaz has acquired quite a reputation for his culinary skills. I must have done something right, Alhamdulillah. 

Though I miss them all the time, deep in my heart I’m happier knowing that they are where the pastures are greener for them. And there is always hope that the right time will come for us to live together again, in the same city or even at least in the same country. For now, family reunions are such a great blessing for us, especially now that Alman is in his tender formative years. He had called Idzfan “Ankevar” during the first week he was home, then later “Abang” and for 3 days before he left, “Ta”!

Putting his bath towel and red & white Lego football jersey (IDZFAN 10) in the wash, nostalgia gushed in too quickly. As for the bed sheet, pillow cases and quilt cover, they are Izaz’s favourite. I shall wash and put them back on just before he comes home next month.

Speaking of family reunions, I would like to thank Jijo for being our angel on our last trip to Melbourne…for lending us such a warm home in the cold season. And Zul and Oki too for adding to the gracious hospitality.  Wonderful memories of South Yarra are forever etched in our minds and I’m sure Alman will get recurring dreams of them as he grows up! I truly apologize for this late gesture. I had wanted to write as soon as we returned to KL, but daily routines leave me breathless most of the time and there is just too much to write about….the home, the company, the reunion, the animal farm, long walks in the city, the books I managed to read…that I kept postponing it for lack of a long quiet block of time. I may just get around to it one of these days. Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir dan batin.