Well, fate had it that I was to meet the boys over in
Melbourne before any of them could come home. RMIT convocation could not be
postponed for our convenience nor did we want Izaz to have to wait till the
next graduation ceremony to have his family celebrate his day with him. So
after finally conquering my nerves over
my separation anxiety (from Alman), I confirmed my ticket at the last hour and
took the late night flight to Melbourne 36 hours before the auspicious day. My
husband did not know that I’ve always preferred the window seat, simply because
I enjoy watching the clouds, the sea and the coast lines below and especially
the first flickers of life in the city where my loved ones would be waiting for
my arrival.
I was too deep in pensive mode, all aflutter inside at the
prospect of meeting both my sons and my sister Pid and her family, after one
and a half years, and at the same time filled with the sadness of leaving Alman
behind, to entertain any grouchiness over the aisle seat. I fell asleep
exhausted half the time.
Four days came and went. Fleeting joys captured in my treasure
trove of memories that will never fray nor fade.
Those precious moments kept me wakeful throughout the day
flight home, sandwiched between sleeping strangers in the middle row. With
little elbow room to do any writing or even to hold up a book comfortably, I
gave in to the tightness and floated happily in my thoughts, recounting events
over the last four days in exact sequence with explicit details over and over
again. As exhausted as when I came, but unable to sleep.
Day 1 :
Idzfan met me at the airport 5 minutes after I came out with
the trail of arrivals and was just about to take a seat, happy enough to wait
for him despite a full bladder. I have a phobia about airplane toilets. I did
not want to spoil the highly anticipated moment by disappearing and giving him
the slightest anxiety over my whereabouts. I haven’t changed. I was that way
since my first visit 10 years ago when he started his studies in Melbourne, and
I’m still that way now…..so too with Izaz who came to study later. Moments of
such reunion suspend all cares and doubts, recharging the bond of sustainable
love with a joy that fills into unshrinkable pockets of happiness. Unlike
vulnerable vows and breakable promises of romantic love that can cut through
the test of time.
Idzfan had lost weight, nicely toned.
A call to Izaz to check whether he had left for work. He was
still home and we reached in time for me to catch him downstairs. My graduating
boy looked more mature now, always handsome to me but a bit gaunt and without
that whimsical smile that always comes when he is about to tease me or give a
wry comment about something. Well, I couldn’t fret about that as he was
actually rushing to catch the tram and worried about being late for his shift
at Sensory Lab. He has grown then…I never saw him that worried when he used to
be late for work in KL!
Mika, the house cat, greeted us at the door and started
inspecting me as I freshened up quickly. Weather was great, I didn’t have to
add anything extra on. Idzfan drove us straight into the city and we headed to
Sensory Lab at David Jones where my barista kid must already be whipping up his
thirtieth cup of coffee or so for the morning. I love the ambience of the place
and I thought about how well he blended in it. The mocha was perfect (especially after having refrained from
caffeine on the plane for fear of its diuretic effect) and the fruit muffin
uplifting.
Then on to DFO to meet the happy trio from Perth – shopping!
Pid, Yan and Izi had been using their holiday budget home in KL all these
years. This inaugural holiday in Melbourne coincided with Izaz’s convo and
Idzfan’s holiday there en route to Jakarta and home, so what could be more
wonderfully synchronous? From DFO we
went back to South Melbourne where Idzfan and I shared a plate of salad and a
spinach and cheese roll on the sunny sidewalk at “The old paper shop deli”. Pid
and family went back to City Park Hotel, Idzfan and I back to Izaz’s place on
Dorcas. Papa King (Yan’s title at work) arranged for us to meet at Papa Rich for
dinner, where Izaz would join us after work.
The food and service at Papa Rich were a class above the
chain outlets in KL. Yummy dishes peppered with Papa King’s jokes, chit chat
over old times, dreams for the future…who needed entertainment?
Bunking in Izaz’s room, I’d never slept better.
Day 2 :
12th Dec - whole day was reserved for Izaz - RMIT
convocation! However, Idzfan and I managed to keep our resolve to take a walk
in the botanical gardens first thing in the morning before heading to Federation
Square where the RMIT graduates’ procession through the city would end. The
gardens was spectacular, a meticulous, loving work of art. After the walk, we
stopped for a drink at a café along the gardens. The pineapple juice was the
purest and sweetest I have ever tasted.
Fantastic weather, festive crowd, high spirits at Federation
Square. We spotted Pid and company quickly. Smiling faces, colourful robes,
arms waving…yey! there was Izaz sauntering over from the line! Cool and grinning, he looked
really happy. It’s been a really long time since we had been out together like
this, just taking things easy and enjoying the moment without anywhere to rush
to. Photo sessions ensued. Yan took
mostly candid shots. I chatted with a mum from Malacca whose son graduated with
MA in economics. A couple of speeches, a Maori dance and a musical performance
later and we were done with the first part of the day’s celebrations. Izaz took
over (as Idzfan had a business appointment) and drove us to a fish & chips
place on Lygon St. for lunch. A big scrumptious helping enough for two for me
and Izaz while the rest had huge sushis. Yan swore these would cost a couple
dollars more each in Perth. Then we headed for Reverence, the family restaurant
in Ascot Vale where Izaz enjoys his second job as a barista. His boss, Annie,
made our coffees. Served in a glass half the size of that at Coffee Bean, my
mocha was just enough and in fact, much more satisfying. Izaz took me to the
kitchen to meet Annie’s mum, the bakery chef. Cosy and efficient now, the place
has exciting potential. Renovation and extension work would be started soon, we
were told.
Either Izaz had not driven for a while or the day’s
excitement was getting to him as I didn’t feel quite secure in my seat. When Yan
pointed out the Royal Children’s Hospital, the project that Idzfan was involved
in, someone honked….Izaz had swerved to the other lane! He is usually a steady
driver, allowing me to snooze in peace in the passenger seat whenever.
Back home to rest for a bit before we got ready for the convocation
ceremony at Ettihad Stadium.
Donning his new retro-motif shirt and papa’s 80s jacket,
Izaz struck a few poses for my amusement and sprayed on abang’s perfume before
going out ahead of us for the night’s ceremony. It rained a bit as were walking
to the stadium, drenching my dream of looking chic beside Izaz with my newly
washed hair, in the photos later. Luckily the weather is Australia has always
been kind to your hair, not too quick to frizz it up.
The stadium was already packed by the time we arrived. The
band was playing on the centre stage where the university senate and academic
staff were to be seated and doctoral degrees conferred. The seating was
arranged in sections according to the various schools, each with its own stage
and electronic board displaying the names of graduates as they came on stage to
receive their scrolls concurrently. So we were seated at “Information
Technology” with a holistic view of the
grand set-up though the crowd around dimmed into specks of colours that seemed
to move rhythmically. We had fun trying to spot Izaz under the cap and gown.
They all looked the same from behind. What a thrill to see Ween’s
congratulatory tweet to “brother Izaz” appearing on the big electronic board
“all the way from ampang..” Yan managed to capture a full video of Izaz
receiving his degree and walking back to his seat (yes…one of us spotted him
right!). I couldn’t believe for a while that school was over for Izaz…until he
came over and posed for our cameras with his scroll and a plaque on the wall just above his head
that said “it’s time to step up into the world”! As Yan captioned it later
among the many, many pictures he took of our trip, “the sign says it all”. OK
so my baby’s grown and I don’t need to send him money any more, but he was
still clinging to me in the mornings with “ma, milo?”…..except that the milo
tin in his kitchen was tiny unlike ours in KL.
Izaz wanted to hang out with his friends after the ceremony,
so the rest of us went ahead to Crown for supper. Lamb kebab, submarine
sandwich, Japanese pancake, ice cream….all worth every penny except for the snack
Pid ordered which she had to discard as it mistakenly had ham in it. A drive
through the city afterwards lulled us into a deep slumber for the night…..
Day 3 :
The shortest day with my boys! Idzfan couldn’t get up to run
in the gardens at 8am as planned and woke up only after Izaz had left for his
11am shift at Sensory Lab. Pid’s home-made banana cake was great with
milo. I really missed messing up in the
kitchen to cook their favourite dishes but the trip was too short this time.
Idzfan and I went straight to the car rental company to
return the car, then to the post office where I amused myself looking at many
interesting toys and gift items while waiting for Idzfan to pay some taxes. I
was tempted to get a couple for Alman but stopped myself thinking I had 2 more
days to find better ones. We were then set for a day of city romping together,
starting with a café outside the GPO where Idzfan had latte and I had the
slickest and most invigorating fruity drink. The almond croissant we shared was
rich and refined, fresh from the oven.
Walking through the arcades has always been one with of my
favourite day dreams back home and there I was window shopping at my leisure
with my son. Idzfan too said that he hadn’t, for a long while, felt so
liberated and light-footed as he did that day, with no work deadlines to meet. We
picked up a book for Alman at “Little Bookworm”, a t-shirt for Cik Minah,
chocolates for Xmas presents. Then we had lunch at ‘Rich Maha” off Little
Collins – ghee tosei, roti canai, teh tarik that were more generous in flavour
than any I’ve tasted at mamaks in KL.
It was a really hot day. Boost juice helped but a while
later, despite a heavy downpour after Idzfan kept his appointment with the
company lawyer, I felt extremely dried out and slightly faint. We stopped to
gulp a glass of bubble tea each. I had my favourite, red bean milk.
We bumped into Pid & company outside David Jones just
after Izaz got off duty. They had spent the day looking over music schools for
Izi and were going to Crown again for dinner while Yan wanted to have a closer appraisal
of the décor and artistic works. We went to Melbourne Central together to get
more t-shirts for Cik Minah ( trust Izaz to choose the raunchiest prints which
she would least understand) and to David Jones where they got a coffee plunger
as a wedding present for cousin Rina in KL.
Izaz wanted a snack before dinner, so off we went back to
their favourite Indian café – roti canai and teh tarik again. We missed Izwin,
especially at tete-a-tete sessions like this. Whenever the three of them get together,
childhood memories tend to flow out easily, melting off the months or years of
separation inevitable between them since the boys left for Australia. Yes, it
seemed only yesterday that I last sat chatting with them over drinks, but it
was actually in July 2011 when both of them were home for Izwin’s wedding. Sustainable
bonds, spiritually inseparable. No vows need to be spoken for enduring love
made in heaven.
We agreed to have dinner at Sawadee at 9pm. It was a late
night shopping day. While Izaz went off to meet some friends who were flying
back to KL, Idzfan finally had a couple of hours to focus on shopping for his
own needs. In the men’s section of David Jones I found the leather arm chair at
the same position it was placed 10 years ago when I sat and waited while Idzfan
selected underwear and stuff. There I was doing it again but this time I could
doze off a bit as I did not have to be alerted to pay. Idzfan paid for himself.
Even the skeleton mannequin looking on nearby couldn’t disturb me. A 3-piece
designer outfit hanged on him and Yan had gone bonkers earlier teasing me about
breaking the guy’s heart to the bone, making him wait too long before I decided
to come to Melbourne. Yeah, right…even mannequins have a heart and they sometimes
eat them out.
Sawadee restaurant felt like home. Soup, green curry, sweet
sour fish and mixed vegetables were so good. Relaxed atmosphere, fast and
friendly service. The orders were
actually meant for 4 persons. Things can’t be perfect all the time. We took a cab home and slept like a log…
Day 4:
Idzfan left for the airport very early to fly to Jakarta for
a friend’s wedding. The thought of meeting up with him in KL 4 days later is an
excitement I can still feel vividly today, kept alive in my pocket of happiness.
At the same time though, this was my last day and my heart was already starting
to sink at the thought of separating from Izaz again. We don’t want to sustain
sadness but sometimes it refuses to leave. But Allah prepares comfort for us in
many ways…Alman’s face never left the window of my mind.
Izaz went to work as usual. As planned, Pid and company
walked over from Seasons Botanical where they had moved into on their second
day (and loving it) and met me downstairs. It was drizzling a bit, but walking
in the rain seemed so natural here. We were dressed for it. We walked and
walked….into a few interesting salvo shops where I bought some books for Alman,
through the convention centre and to DFO where we did some shopping and had
lunch. It was great fun, but Izi couldn’t find any dress suitable for her
graduating performance in June.
The room at Seasons Botanical was ample, equipped with washing
machine and dryer, fridge and cooker. Good for a family of four, great to come
back to after a wet day out. About 4.30pm Izaz joined in to lepak with us. Papa
King was about to parade in his branded stylish new pants, jubilant that he got
them at 70% sale price, until he put his hands in under the pocket flaps and
found….3-finger deep pockets!! Izaz immediately snapped a picture of it on his
handphone and tweeted…what purpose flaps? Hahaha…..do not analyse the whys and
wherefores of everything…
Yan had not got enough of Papa Rich, wanting to try the nasi
lemak. We took the tram. We ordered new items, all of which pleased our palate.
Continued chatting on future plans, then a quick run into “Big W” to buy a
variety of tim tams and chocolates to take home for everyone. Then off to
Dorcas to lepak in Izaz’s room, looked at photos and chatted about nothing and
everything, hanging on to the last minutes of togetherness. Parting is never
easy, particularly with people who have shared so much of your joys and
sorrows, who have seen your children grow since they were in diapers and cared
for them, for you, with so much compassion.
So long, adieu…….
I started packing while Izaz tidied up his room and sorted
out his laundry. Quite as organizer when he gets down to it. We chatted like we
always have when we are alone together. I hope Izaz will never lose that
bluntness with me as he talks about matters of the heart. He is philosophical,
naïve and practical at the same time. I kept bothering him to find out if
Idzfan had safely arrived in Jakarta. He finally told me the news I wanted to
hear at 4 am. I watched him sleep, a mixture of gladness and sorrow enveloping
me in the dimness of the room. I hope he won’t be too lonely in his next
journey to independence……
Day 5 :
Departure day. Good
old housemate Iqbal had offered to drive me to the airport as Izaz had to work
morning. On the way to the airport, we dropped Izaz at Ascot Vale just before 8
am.
Iqbal accompanied me all the way, from the check-in counter
to the departure gate. I was just in time for boarding and to give a quick
reply to Pid’s sms. Melbourne airport is always hectic but well-organized.
LCCT is an entirely different scenario of course. 1pm must
be about the worst time to arrive….hot, hoots and honks!!!
Alman was locked in beastfeeding when I looked in the door.
He turned and took just 3 seconds to stare before he recognized me and
abandoned his nan-nan…..
Sunday 16th Dec :
Hangover and back-to-routine. Alman is more clingy now, more
expressive, more cheeky. He crawls all over, likes to play with electric cords
and can stand unsupported for a few seconds. And love is in his eyes.
I always enjoy reading Soo Ewe Jin’s column in the Sunday
Star. Today he wrote about his flight from Penang to Subang. Always seeming to
be simply written, but with a myriad of messages to ponder over. His poignant
words echoed what was in my mind when I started writing in this entry….
“….I was deep in thought for other reasons and the view was
a gentle reminder that all things will pass.
Problems that seem insurmountable
at times, when viewed at a certain level, will become more manageable once we
take a step back”.
"And it helps, sometimes, when we are able to abandon our
cares at ground level and view them from higher up”.
Thanks to my husband
for making sure I made it to the convocation and the reunion, but I hope he
will remember to book the window seat for me next time. And thanks to the boys
for their joint treats…..my true blue gentlemen!
“Sons and Lovers” by D.H.Lawrence…I wrote an undergraduate
paper on that in 1974, the year I got married. I can hardly remember the story
now or what I wrote….how can I when I was still so naïve and no part of it
could have actually touched me though I was fascinated by it somehow. My
lecturer must have, in her mind, added a qualifier to the title of the paper
(…..”as seen through the eyes of a twenty something”) when she gave me B+ for it. Not that I am inspired to read it
again. It is enough that it reminds me what a blessing motherly love is, how
complicated and unpredictable life can be and that true life’s lessons come
only through experience.
